Let's Have a War on X-mas!

I love Christmas (or as I shall henceforth call it, "X-mas"). The peppermint flavors, the snow, the presents, the lights, and the warm fuzzy feelings. It is a brief flicker of fantasy in an otherwise varied but normal year.
 
But I can't get behind two months of X-mas. Not when I haven't had my Thanksgiving yet (or as I shall henceforth call it, Thxgiving). Everything needs its proper time and place, and when a holiday starts encroaching upon another holiday, we need to take a stand.
 
Look, it's not X-mas's fault. It's American values. Or, at least, what companies are telling us our values are. "You don't need gratitude. You don't need reflection. You need PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS!!!" The only reason stores even acknowledged Halloween (even though X-mas bypassed that gate in some places) was so they could stuff us full of candy (not complaining).
 
I recently heard a commercial acknowledging the early onset of X-mas in storefronts, seemingly chiding the greed of businesses, but it turned the tables with "And then I realized X-mas is just around the corner! I need to get shopping!!" as if by owning up to its own obnoxiousness, they could convince us (and at the same time, stress us out).
 
No. X-mas is not around the corner. It is nearly a month and a half away.
 
The only shopping you should do ahead of time is if you are special ordering a song to be written for someone. In which case, get right on that and email me. BUT OTHERWISE…No X-mas until after Thxgiving. Tell stores how you feel! I personally do not want to be sick of X-mas before we hit December. So let's enjoy what's left of autumn (my favorite season). The year is not over yet, and for that I am grateful.

5 comments

  • Chris Anderson

    Chris Anderson Oakland Ca

    Well said. Commodifization of holidays is a black mark on our culture. I encourage everyone to ask their families about giving each other less stuff and giving more time, talent, and charity to those we love and who need our love. Katie and I love pissing on our brother and sister inlaws' "gift fest x-mas" by sponsoring a worthy family in their name and making them a card colored with thriftstore crayons. Easy and priceless: you give no tangible goods and they look like ass-hats if they complain!

    Well said. Commodifization of holidays is a black mark on our culture. I encourage everyone to ask their families about giving each other less stuff and giving more time, talent, and charity to those we love and who need our love. Katie and I love pissing on our brother and sister inlaws' "gift fest x-mas" by sponsoring a worthy family in their name and making them a card colored with thriftstore crayons. Easy and priceless: you give no tangible goods and they look like ass-hats if they complain!

  • Jeff Michaels

    Jeff Michaels

    Totally agree! The 24/7 holiday music is the worst too! www.jeffmichselsband.com

    Totally agree! The 24/7 holiday music is the worst too!

    www.jeffmichselsband.com

  • Angela

    Angela Yerevan, Armenia

    Yup...where do I sign up for the war? If anything, advertisers should reach out to the expat community first because if we want to order gifts from the States it actually takes a month for things to arrive! Then yeah, after Thanksgiving, people in the US can start shopping.

    Yup...where do I sign up for the war? If anything, advertisers should reach out to the expat community first because if we want to order gifts from the States it actually takes a month for things to arrive! Then yeah, after Thanksgiving, people in the US can start shopping.

  • Benjamin Hay

    Benjamin Hay Bega, Australia

    We don't have Thxgiving here in Australia, and I personally feel that Halloween has no place here, either. But supermarkets and other stores tend to start having X-mas sales around August September, right after the Easter ones finish! I mean, it's not like TV stations screen X-mas specials in October or anything, so why should the stores foist the "Spirit of X-mas" onto us at that time as well. Heck, I had a grandmother who would start buying and lay-buying all of her X-mas gifts in July. Still, it's probably a good thing in the end - at least we don't leave things like gift buying until the 12th hour, I guess.

    We don't have Thxgiving here in Australia, and I personally feel that Halloween has no place here, either. But supermarkets and other stores tend to start having X-mas sales around August September, right after the Easter ones finish! I mean, it's not like TV stations screen X-mas specials in October or anything, so why should the stores foist the "Spirit of X-mas" onto us at that time as well. Heck, I had a grandmother who would start buying and lay-buying all of her X-mas gifts in July. Still, it's probably a good thing in the end - at least we don't leave things like gift buying until the 12th hour, I guess.

  • Linda Thomson

    Linda Thomson Port Macquarie Australia

    To true. Ignore the hype.

    To true. Ignore the hype.

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